Thanks bebop. You kind of helped answer my question. I grew up in CONSTANT anxiety and fear, so that must be where the similarity comes from between me & the soldier. You never knew when or where the terror or wrath would strike and you had to be on guard every single second because even when things seemed like they might be okay they could change out of nowhere without warning into chaos and disorder. And you could trust no one, couldn't tell who was the real enemy or not. Anyone could be out to get you or turn on you. Problem was I experienced all this as a child so it's really messed me up.

Interesting what you said about some of the effects it had on you because my therapist said the effects of war are passed on through the generations. Even though veterans' kids weren't in war there have been studies done showing they experience the same effects. I would believe it based on the things I've seen in my family and abusers I know of or have met. One of my abusers was a Vietnam vet and one of my relatives who helped carry on the legacy of abuse that runs in my family was a WWI vet. So I'm not a big fan of war and what it makes grown men do to little girls to say the least. That stuff has a negative impact for years and generations to come.

Thank you for the response and hug. I needed it.