Kiya & Multi Pixie for you. I too am afraid of the shower. I go for weeks without taking one. Nothing has helped me with it, not even therapy which is making me really mad. It's one of the reasons I tried to die again last year, I was sick of getting stuck in the bathroom and not being able to take a stupid shower. I get really mad at myself for being afraid of something so stupid. Something I still don't even know if it is real or not because I can't handle the thought of that relative doing something like that to me. (I apparently forgot this for a very long time, then remembered when we moved to a new place a few years ago. Nothing has been the same and I haven't been able to take a shower since. ) Plus a psychologist said it was abuse, an evil psychiatrist said it was nothing. So that's just f**king with my head even more all this time. Like I didn't have enough. I thought I was the only one afraid of the stupid shower.

Kiya, I have never been able to manage any of that bizarre smell, touch, feel, any of the PTSD stuff. I'm so over it. I asked my therapist how to make all that crap stop but he wasn't any help with that stuff and didn't give me anything like coping mechanisms or grounding stuff I'm reading about now to help me deal. I quit therapy after three + years two weeks ago by the way.

Forgot to tell you the vision stuff sounds a little familiar. On a few occasions when I've had to get close to someone, I apparently black out for a second or two. I never know it's happening until all of the sudden colors begin to appear again. For example, one time I was talking to a woman and noticed something on her t-shirt collar, so I moved forward to flick it off. As I backed away from doing it all of the sudden colors began reappearing. I didn't notice I was blacking out briefly, but I've had this happen on a few occasions.

All this trigger/flashback stuff drives me absolutely apes**t & makes me just want to kill myself even more. I guess it never goes away.