I felt so uncomfortable it was rediculous. The problem is the councelor was through my college and I can't afford to pay for counceling. It stinks but I guess my only option is through the school. I'm having troubles again making quotes, and posting says my message is under 10 characters, so hope this works! I understand, I think of it like massage, if you have a good massage therapist they know how to relax you so tensions come up and feel really good to let go of. Some massage therapists want to dig right in and I just feel like squeezing my shoulders together to stop the poking. You might want to mention that analogy next time you have a therapist who is making you uncomfortable. I am also having my own issues with therapy, I got what I could out of it, but found that I needed other things to supplement like self-help books and just going on a journey into all the information on the internet, and bookstores that I could find was really productive.

Also J I also dated a girl that was molested when she was younger. She was my first love and first (if you know what I mean). She was the first girl I completely opened up to both physically and emotionally. Then one day she left without any warning. I think that's also part of why I let no one in anymore, because I opened myself up and it hurt so much more after...[/QUOTE]I'm sorry, that has happened to you. It's probably her own fear of being intimate with anyone who is opening up to her. I've been recommending a book to everyone lately that is the most comprehensive book/workbook on abandonment I've ever heard of. Susan Anderson teaches therapists also about abandonment from her own experience. It's called The Journey From Heartbreak To Connection. It's almost $40 but worth it. Not to dig up the past again, but this book will help because being taken advantage of in any way is abandonment. Someone who sticks around and hurts you, has abandoned your feelings, that's one reason why many people stay in abusive relationships. I hope you really come through this, you sound so intelligent and aware of what is going on. I'm amazed at your clarity with all this.