(((freewill))) This isn't their victory, it's yours. TO admit that they had nothing but harm for you, to face it fully and realize how all encompassing it was all these years... THAT is YOUR victory!
For now they can do nothing NOTHING more to you... you have met the enemy and YOU have won. It might not feel like a victory, but it is.
Your soul is clear of them now, and it's all yours. You now begin to rebuild who you want to be now, in the here and now. It's all in your control now, the future is also all yours.
One foot in front of the other. Soon you can give up your war boots for some killer heels!