I can't do this anymore, I don't know how to do it anymore - life. I feel surrounded by this dark gloom. I was so happy to see my old T and have him back in my life. I know he's there, I'm trying to hang on to that happiness I felt. But I can't.

The cess pool has gotten such a grip on me. I have such a hard time going to and staying at work. I can't deal with the pressures of my job, and life in general. I try to take one day, one hour at a time. Sometimes it works, most it doesn't.

I counted pills last week, and thought about that for awhile. For now, it's just thinking, but it's there. I'm trying everything I know to stay with the program, but for how much longer, I just don't know.



Mary Alice