sorry for this but:



I CAN'T DO THIS.

my "friends" don't care. they don't give a &!@#. made fun of these grafts. laughed. teased.

i'm dirt. i get it. i understand. i can't stay grounded. i can't stay calm. what did i do to deserve this? i know i did. i want to cancel therapy. throw these meds out the window. they're just trying to drug me up because i can't be helped. i don't even know who i AM.

i'm a bad father, a bad boyfriend. i hate me. i do nothing for people, i only bother them, drag them down. i'm whining right now.

why sleep when my nightmares are so twisted. why wake up when reality is a nightmare. i can't trust what i see, what i hear. why am i even trying therapy? i'm a useless speck of dirt.

i need a drink, i need vlad, i need a friend, i need TO NOT DO THIS because it's too hard