(((((((((freewill)))))))))))) your pain is overwhelming. I'm so sorry you feel like you failed! You didn't. You raised him and protected him and gave your everything for him. You cannot ever control what other people do. You could not stop your ex husband from saying and doing what he did. In God's hands is the best place. It doesn't mean you can't be there, too. It doesn't mean you fail. It doesn't mean you give up. It means you love. It means you succeeded at making sure he's watched over when you aren't able to. Honey you have not failed. The best that anyone can do is to put their broken heart in a safe place, and you have.