Well, today's the day I fly from Austin to Las Vegas. I get to see my whole family that I haven't seen in 2 1/2 years...one of my sister's I haven't seen in 12 years!

I have most of my bag packed and still need to shower and dress.

My mood sucks though. I'm on the depression side of my bipolar and I'm moving slow...really slow. I think my chin is dragging on the floor. I don't want to be a burden to my family. I am going, I'm just going to have to explain that my brain chemicals are out of whack.

The only trigger has been an old flame from 20 years ago. I asked him to come to Vegas. He wanted to know what I looked like. Then he wanted me to send him a picture (I finally sent one with my hair done and makeup on). His response...you are old. Saw a picture of him on the internet and he looks like Lumpy's father on "Leave it to Beaver". This guy shows the classic signs of narsissism...big time. He treats people like crap. He has his own law firm (as if anyone would want to go into practice with him or he could find anyone "good enough" to be a partner).

Anyway, he's not coming to Vegas because "I have a business to run".

I guess I should count my blessings that I broke up with this guy 20 years ago. I do feel sorry for him because despite all his money, he's about as happy as a person on death row it seems. Like I could have done something way back when to change the course of his life.

I know I talk about this guy a lot on these boards, but I'm hoping this trip will give me a fresh prespective (when I get back my goal is to go back to work full time).

Anyway, if I'm moving this slow, I'd better get in the shower and finish packing so I make it on time.

I'll be checking the board tonight before I go to bed at my sister's house (usually I'd be jumping up and down about seeing my family, but inspite of my meds, my mood basically sucks.