I'm posting this here...because any help or input would be helpful.

This happened a few days ago. I don't know why, but everytime I think about it...it bothers me and I cry. I don't easily cry either.

So that alone is bothering me.

My Dad...I love him a lot, but I definately get along better with my mom just personality wise. My dad is very smart...very quiet and sorta intimidating. Like mob like even.

Anyway, I think he also has some deep issues he's never confronted with depression as well. He will often talk with my mother about how unhappy he is etc., but I believe he is venting.

She will intern tell me because we are pretty close.

He's disappointed at times with my other sisters she will often say. I sometimes will often assume me as well because lets just say I have fallen into that catagory a few times at different points of my life. I feel horrible about it and I don't like to think about it.

My father will often plan things to do with the family and get excited, but quite often when the time comes he is greatly disappointed and you can see the "let down" almost like he doesn't know how to enjoy himself with his own family.

When he is with his "friends" or working and with all other people he is having a great time. It's so odd. I'm used to it though.

The one thing I have to say is. My son is very VERY special to both my parents. TOO much so even and thats because my son is disabled. THe reason I say too much is because there are other grandchildren here and well it's not such a good thing to express such favoritism.

If you do ...keep it to yourselves.

Anytime they are around my son they are completely happy.

They never call just to call...it's always about my son.

Again I'm used to this though. I will even joke about it.

Anyways, I went down the shore 2weeks ago and for those of you here that know I needed to go to the hospital. I was definately a danger to myself and was really doing very poorly.

I figured my family knew, but they didn't really know how overwhelmed I was. I drove down with my sister who insisted I go. I ended up telling her a little bit on the drive down.

She got very emotional and wanted to help me.

Well she must have told my parents who in turn realized what was going on as well.

The next week my parents took me out to dinner w/my son. My father was trying to be very supportive as was my mother.

All of a sudden my father says to me " I really enjoyed you down the shore last weekend" I for a second was so confused that I said "me?" and I looked at my son and quickly was trying to think was he there? (because my son was with my ex)

And my dad follows up with quickly "yes with you...I really had a nice time with having you down there ..we got a lot done you helped I enjoyed going out to dinner etc." and after that it was all blah blah blah.

Also, my mother with a little annoyance quickly added when I said "me?" she said "yes you?".

I could definately tell that the had a longggg conversation about me, which was later confirmed to me by my mother.

I don't know why, but that just feels so strange to me.

You have to understand my mother in all of my life has maybe said "I love you" oh maybe 5 or less times.

And my dad maybe 2?

and that statement he has never said. Not without my son there and definately not directed towards me.

And Now i keep finding myself getting emotional about it.

What is up with that?

Even right now.

*shrugs*

Sorry this was long winded.

I don't have a therapist so I just thought I could vent here.