You sound really depressed. You are worried about too many people. You are giving them power they do not deserve.

You say your son is 24 y/o? He is an adult. You can't make him what you want him to be. Whatever promise you made to him needs to be reevaluated.

As for his ex/girlfriend and your ex-husband, to hell with the both of them. Don't take the calls, when they over step their bounds you can tell them in detail how they can kiss your *ss...several times if necessary.

Sounds like you need to set up boundaries and defend them. Those boundaries are to protect you. You defend them.

Protect yourself, noone else will do it for you. Be your best friend, your protector, your defender.

Take your power back!!!