I was always or usually nervous (depending on my age/mood) whereas my sisters weren't.

He didn't really have patience for me when I was getting nervous around him. He would often say to me "what are you stupid"? when he was angry with me. When I was younger and in my (moods) I would rebel and rarely would come home and avoid him because of the way he would make me feel.

Probably one of the reasons I wanted to get away.

Just a lot of emotion there I guess...because deep down on the flip side I do know he cares he just has a hard time with his own emotions. I guess I have a hard time accepting at this time their care.

Their expression of love.

Like I said on the drive to the shore when I was trying to get out of the car my sister got emotional and was saying she was upset because she didn't realize I was so overwhelmed and struggling. Why wouldn't I say something or come to them?

And I was pulling away to get out. Not because I don't love her, but because I feel uncomfortalbe. She was like grabbling me ..saying "you're gonna make me cry" I couldn't even look at her.

And I do love these people ..so I dunno.

Ty pat and shaymus for your input though...b/c your both right and I know it...just hard for me. Like I said it's hard b/c I don't have a T at this time either...well for several weeks now.