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So I told T everything about yesterday...about how I knew it was more then just not getting the armchairs...T said "yes its because you felt deprived? you felt vunrable, you were "caught" out wanting and not getting...its about wanting a mothers love ( the comfortable feeling of being held in a snug chair) and not getting it.....then we talked abotu "vunrablity"...man this is a hard one...I noticed I crossed my legs and folded my arms at this point LOL!!!!......I have this nagging fear that I will forget myself in session one day, and get so relaxed and vunrable adn then T will not want me anymore......infact I've just emailed T and told her this....its not an urgent email, which I feel normally being to intimate, just sending a non urgent email...I feel everything must be an emergency or crisis before I merit attention....It feels like taking a risk just to "talk" about issues...acting out seems the easier option at times...but its not working for me so much now...I need to talk about issues in a adult way...perhaps thats a step forward....but I knew I wasn't so shallow as to through a fit just because i didn't get something materialistic...I was just needing the insight to help me deal with it and T has done that today...
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach
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