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Sep 26, 2008, 01:03 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,747
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I was scared that because of my sharp remark to him, he would now hate me and maybe "divorce" me like he had his wife.
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This is interesting...it kind of sounds like transference/counter transference all mixed up. If he did in fact move away from you because he was feeling attacked by you --sounds like his issue. As long as you were not abusive, he should have been able to handle it as a T. This is where I guess its a good thing that we don't know much about our T's lives. If you didn't know about his ex-wife, would his movement away from you have cause you to feel bad about it?
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I also felt awful thinking he was using some sort of behavior modification technique on me, like punishing my annoyed tone by withdrawing his presence from me, and when I went back to speaking more pleasantly, he rewarded me with his close presence. I hate being treated like a dog.
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I HATE WHEN I GET THESE THOUGHTS! When I had that situation with my T not responding to me I couldn't help thinking..."she using some behaviorist technique to extinguish my neediness." For me these are very hard thoughts to counter, because to my paranoid ego... the whole therapeutic relationship is just one big manipulation technique. The only thing that helps me challenge these thoughts is to tell myself that she is well trained and does not have to resort to negative feedback or punitive tactics to tell me I am being in appropriate or that she doesn't like what I am doing. Sunrise, I think your T is skilled enough and your relationship with him direct enough that if he really was upset by your sharp reprimanding, he would have likely directly stated that.
Do you think your perception of what happened during the session was magnified somewhat? Especially since when you did see him a few days later, he responded to you normally.
The touch on the arm, most people wouldn't even have noticed something like this...even if it is totally out of character for you to do. I can see how you would be shocked with yourself, but I bet others wouldn't even notice the change in behavior. Your T might pick it up in a one-on-one session but maybe not in a public setting with other interactions going on.
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He was great with it--accepted it and kept on talking. It wasn't like he drew back from hot coals or anything, or immediately retreated to the other side of the room.
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When you think about it, did you really expect him to withdraw when you touched him? If so, why?
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