Glad to help, I feel for your situation immensely.

You will work just fine through this, gain some new skills, sharpen up the ones you have, and eventually probably find yourself down the line passing on some help to someone else.

I figure that is how it works, I've gotten so much help from good books and therapists and day to day living, it's a treat to be able to babble something sorta wise from time to time to someone else.

I've had to deal with similiar issues concerning my mother, also with my sister. Come to think of it, my father also. I've found the best thing for me to do is to first take good care of myself, keep taking good care of myself, not much works unless I do so.

A decent therapist can guide you through. Some of the issues I've dealt with include feeling guilty, guilty for surviving, guilty for perhaps somehow causing my mother's challenges, guilty for living. Realizing that a family member isn't doing well can bring up such a swirl of emotions.

Myself, I have to watch my anxiety level, and in all things, remember to take good care of myself.

As for reading and researching various mental health issues, I've found I need to take regular breaks, do something fun, change my focus. For instance, when reading up on mental illness in light of my mother's behavior, I had to stop and do something else, otherwise I was just triggering myself, getting myself wound up.

Grieving is also something I've been through and still experience from time to time.

I suggest treating yourself really well, think on what you'd advise a dear friend to do in this situation, and do that. Be compassionate with yourself. Keep up with all the vital basics, get enough food and water, exercise, sleep, fun. Write in a journal if that works for you.

Cordially,
Sarah