I've decided that part of my soul has died.. I cannot even do happy when I want to. I thought today would be so good, and I wanted to be happy, but no matter what I just feel so sad and worrying that I'm just upsetting the people that mean so much to me.

I want to do good for them, I want everything to be nice and just how they want. I don't want anything to ruin their happiness. But all they want is me to be happy and I can't do it. I love them so much.

I wish never have existed, it would be ideal. They would be happy anyway.