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Now I'm frustrated! Haven't you read the STA post? It gives sound advice on NOT reacting. That's where a lot of our problems lie, is in not thinking before we REact! We need to STOP! and THINK and NOT REACT. After we've given some thought to something that upset us, more than likely we'll realize that we misunderstood what was said and feelings won't get hurt. The "ACT" part is to NOT act unless you need to say something back or do something. The difference lies in the fact that you have thought things out and your response will be appropriate.

It's great to be sensitive to others feelings, moods, pain, etc, but NOT to the point that we let it bring our own mood down. We can be sensitive without taking on other's feelings or letting them trigger feelings in us.

Something else we need to know is the difference between "sympathy" and "empathy."

When we SYMPATHIZE with someone, we feel what they feel. If they are in an angry mood, we get angry; if they are depressed, we get depressed.

When we EMPATHIZE with someone, we can relate to their feelings, their anger, their depression BUT WE DON'T JUMP INTO THE HOLE WITH THEM!

As for LMo and I being frustrated, (and maybe others, too) yes we are! We have a right to our own feelings and to express them, especially when we try so hard to help and we just go ignored. We haven't expressed our feelings in a hurtful way. That's because we STOPPED, THOUGHT and then ACTED. I just can't stress that enough.

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I know you've directed this response to gg but I would just like to state that I have never ignored anything that has been said to me. I have read each response, advice ever given and I'm sure I have always responded to them, maybe missing the odd one. Not feeling capable of acting on the advice is not the same as ignoring it.

As far as sympathy and empathy are concerned, I have done both. That is something that I need to work on and my T has been discussing this with me. I all too often put the other person before me and very much start to feel what they feel to my own detriment. This is something I need to find a way to curtail. It doesn't do me or anyone else any good. I know your comments in regards to those words were not about me but more so about you or others who don't want to be sucked down to where I am. That is certainly the last thing that I would want, so if any of you should start to find yourself being sucked into my depression then please stop and retreat. It's not a healthy thing for you to do and as I said, certainly the last thing that I would want to see happen. You have to always think about your own well-being first. I'm still trying to set boundaries for myself and not allow myself to cross them. So far I've yet to be successful.

One other comment and I'm extremely reluctant to mention this one. You stated that you are entitled to your feelings and yes you are but with that so am I. I stated that comment that I refered to was about me and I was hurt. You've all stated that you disgree with it being about me and that's fine. It's your opinion and y'all are entitled to that. I don't recall anybody validating the fact that even if the comments were not about me, my feelings were hurt. As I said, right or wrong in my analysis, I am just as entitled to my feelings as everybody else is to theirs. I think what I would've prefered to see as responses is validation of my feelings with your opinion that you disagree that it was about me, instead of bypassing that my feelings were ever hurt to begin with. BTW, when I say 'your', I'm making a general comment and not just directed at you personally. If I have made a mistake and my feelings were validated, then I apologize. Without going back to the beginning of this thread, I don't recall seeing any validation at all and is that not what we all would want? I said I was reluctantly bringing this point up because I'm hoping that this does not incite more 'hard feelings/etc.'. I'm trying very hard to 'act' and not 'react' to all of your comments. Therefore, I'm trying my best to state how I feel about things that have been said, but in a civil and productive way. I hope that's the way that my responses are coming across. There is absolutely NO anger in any of my responses.