reading this, i think about my mentally tortured brother. he's attempted twice. he lives with constant thoughts to ending his torment. what has stopped him and his thoughts was a contract he signed with me out of love.

he said when he felt close he thought of the contract. after a while the thoughts weren't as much because he kept pushing them away. is there someone that can make that pact with you and hold you to it? as far as helping to control the thoughts, he says keeping himself busy and staying away from things and people he knows will cause him to think badly has been the biggest help. other than that, i can't suggest anything else. i realize, through my little brother, that it's a struggle like no other and i admire his strength and missive FIGHT to stay alive.

i hope so much for so many who deal with these thoughts and their confusion, pain and struggle related to them.

kd