I am trying, today, to come off of the pills.

I admitted to H that I have had to take something every day. He was shocked. He says he's not angry.

I feel awful. I don't know if it's withdrawal? I was only taking something in the afternoon/evening, and just a "normal" dose, not a huge amount. Maybe a little more than a normal dose?

My head hurts, I'm hot/cold, my fingers feel pins and needles, I'm sleepy. I think my heart is palpatating. I'm anxious. My tummy is upset. I don't know if it's withdrawal, or just anxiety from trying to get through the day without taking anything.

I am trying to take it one day at a time - when I think about not taking anything tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, it's scary. Just today. I can take something tomorrow if I have to.

Ugh. My head!

I am so ashamed. I've been so dishonest by omission with everyone around me. I feel like a horrible, terrible person. I'm thinking about calling T and leaving a message about what is going on.

I'm not even sure if I'm doing the right thing.

Just thought someone here might understand.