(((((Heidu))))) First, I'd like to say it is a pleasure getting to know you, and I'm only at the begining! I am sure as I get to know you better, I will treasure you even more.

I'm not quite sure what all you have endured. I can tell it has been way too much though. I think, with any problem one encounters, realizing the problem is a really big step. Next, understanding it and then analizing it. Determine what amount of it you can control or change and deal with that. Anything you have neither control of, or the power to change - put it behind you. Classify it as a lesson learned, a bad experience, or both. And then move on. It is important - to move forward and not backward. I know that is easier to say than to do, but girlfriend - I have great faith in you.

Trust ... how does one trust? I guess different people trust for different reasons or in different ways? Myself, when I first meet someone - I automatically give them 100% trust - that is to say I accept them for who they claim to be. As our friendship grows, the proof of oneself will be seen.

Mis-trust - Once a person does something that shows they are not as trustworhy as I had thought, naturally my level of trust for that person falls from 100%. As to what it may fall to depends upon what the lie was.

Every woman I have been involved with has decieved me. And it seems that too often in todays world - Biy meets girl, Girl meets boy, and both try to be like what they believe the other would want them to be like. That works great if you're in it for the short haul, but, if you're in it for the long haul, it is just a matter of time before the love or lust wears off (the newsness of the relationship) and it becomes just normal everyday life. It is then that the people involved see the other for who they actually are, and the relationship starts to crumble. I'm not saying that is what happened with you, but it is what happened to me - over and over and over again.

But we all need people around us, and it is so natural to place your guard up especially when you've been hurt, but please, don't ever give up sweetie. Life is far too short as it is, and from reading your posts, I can see a beautiful woman with a heart full of love, and sweetie, maybe right now the timing wouldn't be right, but there is a guy out there that is in need of the love you can give him, and it is a matter of time, and the two of you will find each other.

I understand completely how one can become depressed, so hurt and depressed that they just want to dig them a hole and crawl into it. But please, don't do that - it just makes it harder in the long run.

But most importantly - please, don't ever give up on yourself, or on love itself. Fight that urge to stay in sweetie, and get out and do something that will purk YOU up. I will never give up on you.

(((((Heidu)))))

With love,
Your friend Sam