I promise you that telling won't kill you. You can talk to your T about being afraid that telling will kill you. It will help you heal. You can be a helper that way. The abuser doesn't want you to tell because it makes him afraid. He knows that if you are strong enough to talk and not to be afraid of him, then he doesn't have the power anymore. You can ask the police to protect you and keep you safe from him, and if he even tries to hurt you again, the police can take him away and put him where he can't hurt people anymore. He won't have any more power because you won't let him. You can be stronger than the abuser now. He will be afraid of you. How would that be?

Maybe you should tell this to the system and tell the others that you want to get better so that you don't have to be hurt anymore. If you tell them and let them know that you can still be safe, then maybe you can all work together and all of you can feel better. Then the system won't have to shut down.

I wish that I were a princess or a polar bear with magical powers, but I'm sorry I'm just a person just like you who hurts too. But I would like to help if I can.