I really get what you are saying. And thats the biggest reason I want to quit pot.

All the sensations I have when Im high are just intensified versions of how I really think and expirience things. I can't really explain it, I'm always dissociated, so life has always felt like a dream to me. Just, I feel the same while high, only numb, and not kicking myself in the pants for being dissociated.

I guess I only like it because I feel that way because of a drug, and not because of mental illness. If that makes sense.

I'll tell my T the reason I like it, and my own situation around it, and maybe she can help me figure out a way like you said, to stop using pot as a tool to not have to accept a mental state I am always in.

This really helped me get a perspective on things. You kind of hit the nail on the head with the expirences thing. Thank you very much. I will put this perspective to good use.