I have started therapy today...for the second time after the first time failed...

and already so so so many thoughts are rearing up in my mind...disturbing ones, scary ones, ones that make me cry, get under my bed and hide...but one i just can't understand....

why why why? why do they do it?
why me?
why why why? what was it that i did...?
why were they after me?
was it attraction?
was it that i was ugly and they wanted to hurt me?
for sex?
for power?
for injury?
for love?
for satisfaction?
why why why?
I just don't understand....why...
what did i do so wrong...?
why did he do it?
why why why why....
just tell me why...

please just tell me why..?????

i want to understand...
i want to know...
i want to take accountability for my actions..for his..?
I need to know...why?

why why why?????

love step