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You're right, that's what happens in CBT. But the thing about CBT that leaves me flat is my personal experience both as a client and a therapist/trainee is the impression that the initial feeling is not validated. That's why I prefer an approach both in therapy and in giving general support that starts with an initial validation of feelings. It's only after I've validated someone's feeling that I would work towards constructing new meaning if appropriate.

I guess I like to start with the idea that a person is acceptable *as they are* AND they can be better. But that's the humanist in me. And it's probably also influenced by my own baggage. It's hard to leave it outside the door all the time, you know or to run away from it.

It likes to jump on your back when you aren't paying attention. Down boy! Down!



gg

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Thanks for commenting on validation of feelings. I've also made my own comments on the same thing in this thread. It's something I try to always remember to do when I respond to others, partly because of being highly sensitive, I can empathize with their feelings and know how important our feelings are to each of us, whether justified or not. It doesn't mean I am infallable and will possibly forget to do so sometimes but I do make a concentrated effort.