Before going back to Angela's response, I want to comment that I read what each of you said in all your responses, thought about them, walked away for several hours, came back, thought about them again and then 'acted' instead of 'reacted' on them. That, as you know, is a NEW way of posting for me. Something that has been one of the focuses in this forum. I've been complimented with how I responded, both in this thread and by several PMs from others who are watching this thread without participating.

With that all said, I have to say, and this is 'acting' IMHO, I am *really* disappointed that with all the deep thought I have put into approaching the several responses in this thread, that the great majority of them have not even been acknowledged. THAT HURTS!!!!! Not only was no response given to my comments/questions, other than very few, but also no comments to the positive changes in the way that I made my responses. OK, now I feel like I'm actually reverting back to old behaviours and reacting instead of acting. I'm sorry, it REALLY, REALLY HURTS. It appears that it was all for not. I'll bet there would've been a higher chance of getting responses had I reacted instead of stopping, thinking and acting. So much for that new way of responding to things. So dissapointing to me. For those of you who did respond and make comments on how I'm trying, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING AND FOR RESPONDING BACK TO ME!!!

Angela sweetie, I'm too upset right now and you do deserve my fullest attention when I'm calm enough to respond appropriately to your very thoughtful response. I will need some time to walk away from this thread and maybe even the site so that I can regroup, compose myself and concentrate solely on what you had to say instead of my hurt feelings right now. I do sincerely apologize because a response as thoughtful as yours doesn't deserve to be 'ignored'. And that's not what I'm doing. I think by reading your response before that you will completely understand what I'm feeling right now. I'm deeply sorry, please don't take it personally. This is not about you, it's about ME. I guess I needed something in response to what I have said to others and the 'way' in which I felt I did it. I hope you can forgive me. I guarantee you that I will definitely come back when I'm not upset and crying and can give you my full, undivided attention. You deserve no less than that. I hope you understand.