I have been ED free for almost two years, but I've had setbacks, and this week, I'm begining to relapse. It's not that bad , I've restricted myself to eating only fruits and vegetables, and as far as I know, I'm not losing any weight. But I couldn't stand it, and I ate a bite of a piece of bread. And I feel so fat, and so ashamed of my lack of self-control. My family must think I'm a pig.

I saw my therapist today, and she said that I need to get over this now before it becomes more serious. So she assigned me to eat three new recipes that contained carbohydrates in the next week. I said I would, but right now, I'm not sure I can do it. My mom and I made manicotti, which I thought I could do, but I look at it, and all I see is calories and fat. And then I look at myself and all I see is my huge thighs and my flabby stomach, and I want to panic.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I need some help with this at this moment. My mind is screaming for me to take a shower instead of eating, but a rational part of me says I need to eat to stay alive. Anyways, thanks for reading, I'm feeling pretty low.