I have some psychosis, so sometimes its hard for me to work through my thoughts, they get disorganized. But when I smoke, it makes it so I can think in a more linear fashion, and come to conclusions about how i really feel and such. You'd think it would do the opposite, but for some reason it helps. But I'm reaching the end of "this is fun" and getting to "this is helping me figure stuff out", and hopefully very soon I'll get to "I don't need to use this anymore".

It's going to take some hard work though, when I get addicted to something, it takes me a while to let go of it. I'm not in physical danger, or putting anyone in danger though, if I was, I would do something drastic to stop. I feel badly about it sometimes, but other times, I just remember that it doesn't make me a bad person, I need as little shame upon myself as possible. I get more delusional sometimes, but for the most part it just slows down my thoughts. I should ask a doctor if there's a medication that will do that.