Ok, group posting.....

Zen,
It really does help to know that you understand how I feel and that you have found a way past it. It shows me that maybe I can work past it too. Thank you!!!

September,
You are a very sweet kind wonderful generous woman. I appreciate your offer along with Lmo and Beep to help me out with my plane ticket. Like I said, there really is alot more than that to deal with and I hope you understand that it would not be realistic for me to hop a plane and go somewhere strange. I hope you understand what I mean. I am ever so greatful for your kind and loving offer. You are very special.
Heidu

Lmo,
You are a sweet caring person and I love the way you cruise these boards giving support, cheer and really good positive energy.
You are a special person. Thank you for your offer of help. As I have said previously, there is alot more to everything than just a fork and a plane ticket. You offer of help is very generous and I am greatful and thankful.
Heidu

Sam,
It's a pleasure to get to know you too. You are a kind soul.
You are very right about what you said about trust and that is how I have always been. Give 100% until I find out that I shouldn't. This time was different and it scares me to death to give now because I now know how very badly it can hurt. I don't want to ever be hurt like this again. I will have to find my own way to trust again. I know I will get hurt again but I have to trust because I have to love.

It isn't uncommon for a person to put out 100% in the beginning or even put out more than they are. We all want people to like us. My case turned out to be alot more than the norm. I could deal with the relaxing a little after the relationship is solid. My relationship was a complete turn around from prince charming to mosnter overnite. Now I am left to find out who this person really is and it doesn't appear to be someone I would've chosen to be with along with having to deel with all the hurt.

I hope your right, there is someone out there somewhere who can give love and receive mine back. That would be wonderful.

I'm out of the hole and it's tough but I don't ever want to go back. I will fight that with all I have. I am better than that and I deserve better. I have to much inside of me to waste it away.

You are very sweet and such an encouragement. Thank you for you.
Heidu

To all,
There is more, so much more to my feelings but I can't, don't want to, talk about it now. Maybe in the future. It's nice to know I have some kind, wonderful friends here to support me and help me along my way.
Thank you all for being you and being part of my life. You mean more than you will ever know and you have no idea how much you have helped me.
Much love,
Heidu



The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin