Pachy, you have said so many interesting things in this post I don't know where to start.... First of all I like your approach here. It seems that you are trying to figure out where you stand in all of this. This will get you somewhere! Secondly, you can see where you keep running into narcissists. I would like to suggest that maybe you should look at how you are behaving to attract them. I had to do this same thing and I found some things that I did. One thing that I did is that I would take care of them! If you find that you do this and then decide to stop you will definitely stop attracting them.

I loved your phrase that messes can be cleaned up if they are understood!!!!!!!

I got my MSW because I definitely had people skills, empathy, etc. I didn't even think about studying this to help myself because at that time in my life I hadn't realized yet that I wasn't meeting my needs and was meeting the needs of others. In the end I ended up helping myself very much though with all of this extra knowledge. Anyway, I struggled a lot during my MSW because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I couldn't hide my anxiety and all of my other problems. Many of my fellow students and professors thought I was a loser, someone who would enter this field and harm others because of my own problems. I proved them all wrong. I got better (but then didn't work for long anyway!). I know what you are talking about though. If a therapist won't face a problem it will block his ability to help others. I don't think that added credentials will guarantee it either. I know someone who is a PhD who does research and she hasn't applied anything that she has learned to her life. I only have an MSW, have never used it professionally but I took myself apart and rebuilt myself correctly. I don't think that it has anything to do with training either. I think the therapist just has to be open and willing to do his or her own homework on their own time.