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Oct 01, 2008, 02:20 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: east of the sun, west of the moon
Posts: 2,259
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(((((( orange blossom ))))))
Sounds like yesterday was a big drag. Is today any better?
I know you are scared of becoming like your brothers, but knowing at the start what happened to them will keep you from being complacent about drugs, which helps keep you safe. Another thing you can do is find someone to be an accountability partner for you. It can be as simple as emailing or talking to them if you feel tempted to overdo your meds or take them in any wrong way. Seems to me that plenty of people would be willing to help you so you do not have to be afraid to use these meds temporarily. It is not good for you to wake up with blood on your pillow each morning, that is not good for you either. I am using meds again that I have abused in the past and I am trying to stay honest and also remember all that has happened to help and change my life since that time. I was in a horrible place back then and my mind was in total disarray. Now I have support and I am working on actual issues and not just reacting to pain in my life. Can I totally trust myself with these meds, no! Can I give myself a chance to see if they can help without abuse, yes. Life is not just black and white only as I believed. Sometimes I have to walk in the gray and stay honest.
End of sermonette...LOL. You are a courageous lady and I respect you. Treat yourself with kindness as you treat all of us out here. Gentle Hugs, 
leslie and the pixies
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  HEALING HAPPENS
Last edited by multipixie9; Oct 01, 2008 at 02:23 PM.
Reason: typo uh oh
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