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You brought up some very good points, Jo. I remember my children being in school and receiving the same prizes as the entire class even though they had made better grades. One of my step-sons was very upset, he was 12, at that system. He understood that they were trying to "level" the field and he stated that he knew that when he got in junior high, things would be different. So, we came up with a formula at home where the child that did really well during a week at school got extra privileges. I really think it helped our children prepare for junior and senior high. They entered feeling pretty self-assured and did well. They took chances and joined organizations that I don't think they would have joined if we had not corrected the grade school impression of everyone receiving the same reward...regardless of their efforts. They were all in the orchestra..one played golf and one played tennis, one took German...it was really cool to watch them.
In our case, self-esteem that was developed at home, was very important to those kids.

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Pat,

That's a perfect example of what I was trying to say. The school was using a rather misguided (IMO) method of protecting self-esteem, but you didn't say that self-esteem was wrong, you found another way to develop it in a way that was right for your children. By giving your children a chance to succeed and fail, and teaching them that the world will not come to an end if they fail, then they learn the courage to try.

I once read something about playing games with small children. They said that until about age 4, it's a good idea just to let the child win all the time. But after 4, the child should begin to learn that they won't always win. I can't possibly imagine the benefit of "protecting" 12-year-olds from the possibility of winning or losing.

True self-esteem is not having a sense of one's own value that sways in the breeze depending on the latest success or failure. It is the knowledge that you are not defined moment to moment, but have a fixed value as a person. At least that's how I see it...that doesn't really match the definition given in these articles. So maybe the real discussion shouldn't be about whether self-esteem is help or hindrance, but what type of self-esteem we should be seeking.

Jo