I needa lifeline really bad right now. I screwed up really really really really bad. I'm stupid and always mess things up. I can't stop crying. I've tried everything. I don't want to make it worse but I want him to know I'm sorry and I need to talk to him and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 10 minutes let alone the next hour and all alone even because I sent the kids to my parents and somebody please just read this and grab my hand so I don't fall.