I think you are on to something here, Miss C. The more risks I take with T, the more intimate our relationship becomes. And the intimacy is what I NEED to heal, I think. He can't just sit there and give me intimacy - it requires something from both of us.

It is scary to go to the dark places. Really, really scary. I dissociate, I panic, I can't breathe...but T goes there with me and he hears me and he experiences it with me and he is there for me to help me get regrounded. T says it is very powerful, and I guess it is....

I don't have any real advice, only my own experience to offer. But I understand the need for more intimacy, and I understand how painful it is when I can't connect with T in that way.

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Miss C )))))))))))))))))))))))) This stuff is so hard. I am thinking of you.

xoxoxox