I sent one email saying I'm sorry. Another saying I didn't know. No response but I don't even know if he's on. And even though I'm doing something horrible, god sends me angels. he has sent every one of you folks and then my one friend from work just came in and without even telling her what's wrong managed to cheer me up. I guess I just go home, try not to think about it and wake up in the morning and deal with this next mess I've made. thank you.