I'm so sorry. You're right, you can cry very easily over someone you've never met. When that someone is your child, it's even easier. I'm a birthmom -- wasn't in any shape to raise a child on my own after being abandoned by his father. He's had a fabulous life with the people who adopted him, and we have some contact now, but it's email only. He's 20 years old and I haven't laid eyes on him since he was 5 days old, and I didn't even know where he was, if he was healthy, and OK, etc, till he was 16. In all those years I probably cried enough tears to flood the planet several times over.

Literally decades later, I still have lots of trouble in May (his birthday is May 26). The first year was particularly bad, though. May I suggest on behalf of us both that you slap the crap out of anyone who says "oh, you're still young, you can have more"? Don't let anybody minimize your grief like that.

Big hugs to you. Please PM if you'd like to talk more. I'll be thinking of you.

Candy