Pachy, in addition to what Owl said, I think that it also is just that we have been trained like this. These were our automatic responses that we didn't even recognize. Once you step back and examine what is going on you can make different choices. I would also like to take EM's transference idea further and suggest that you might have done this with everyone that you have ever come across in "authority". That you turned every relationship into this relationship just with your automatic responses. You are very capable of acting differently. Acting in a way that is in your interest and not against it.