I have been processing and processing the heck out of this dr thing. It triggered me so badly. So I was like besides the triggers Stephanie what is the reason you feel so scared. I mean this has effected my relationships with my T's I am struggling to feel connected to them again. It has made me want to stop therapy and just hide away from the world. I know its way to much of a reaction for what happend. I know it brought up a ton of old stuff but also I was wondering why did I struggle so hard to make sure she liked me? Why did I keep going back to her after I saw that she really had no clue? That little nine year old girl said because when people like you they dont try to kill you hurt you break your legs and you are safer. I was like BINGO. Thats it. The differnce I said to my littrle small self is that i am a grown up now. I can fight back and I can be safe. Then i was like yeah i really dont like my dr. I never have. I called her voice mail and said I am not coming back as your patient and by the way the oregon state beavers suck. They suck so bad people mistake them as a vacuum. She loves this school she went to school there met her husband there ext... ha ha ha. So i feel like I have more power back.