I am in limbo. I am a month away from leaving my job of 25-1/2 years, moving into my bf/fiance's house and being a "lady of leisure". Now most would say "HOT DOG!" and so have I but I am also having some anxiety around this. Big change! I will get medical bennies through his company as a domestic partner until we get married (which will be very shortly after I move in I think)so that is really great. What is happening in my squirrely (no offence sqrlb8 - LOL)
mind is I am so afraid that something is going to happen to him before I am his wife and that I will be left in jeopardy with respect to finances etc....I am so HAPPY that I can't believe it is not going to be snatched out from under me....I am a sick puppy huh? That's only a part of what is going on...I don't feel like I am a part of the "group" at work anymore....I am moving on and am rapidly disassociating myself....I still feel responsible for doing my job but not as much....and talking about things that are beyond a month from now make me sad....and I am NOT sad about not having to work; I am tired I have been working for 33 years of my life already...but I am sad about not feeling a "part of". I know things will be fine in my heart...my obsessive mind is just having a field day...thanks for letting me "journal" a little out loud....