Hey, tooter's brain... RELAX!!!!!

It sounds to me like you understand perfectly well what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. The only thing that sounds to me like it's a little "out there", so to speak, is the worry of something happening to your man before you can get married. Is there any reason that something would happen? Like an illness? If I'm asking too much, just smack me a good one and I'll shut up. It does suck to not feel like part of the group. I like everyone that I work with and they all seem to like me, but there's only two people that make me feel like part of the group. I guess it's cause I see VERY eye to eye with both of them. And quitting a job of 25 1/2 years... a change of that magnitude would stress anyone out. I read somewhere that getting married, changing careers, and moving are all in the top five list of the most stressful things a person can go through. I think the other two were pragnancy and illness. So all that hot air being said, you're doing great.

Ry