((((((((Mouse)))))))))

Wow, this was a really good post. It sounds like you've began to break through a wall that's held you back for most of your life. It's really difficult to talk about things like this with anyone I would think, because the pain is very difficult to control once it is let out. However, now that you are with a good T that can go with you through this mess, you don't have to worry about it becoming overwhelming and being left alone to deal with it this time.

Out of curiosity, and please forgive my ignorance if you have addressed this before--but is your birth mother still living, and if so, would you ever want to meet with her? I only ask because my nephew is adopted, (now age 16), but his mother passed on so he doesn't have the option. I'm happy to report that he is really well adjusted, but then he never had to hide his feelings from his adoptive mother like you did. He has also known since the beginning that he was adopted.