First off...I agree with what you said about what he did being dumb vs. him being dumb. It WAS dumb! It was also dumb to expect an almost 5-year-old (autistic or not) to be responsible for a toddler! You do not bring a car to the children...you take the children to the car...especially such young children! A "good father" would not do this.
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Originally Posted by missboots
I did not mention my husband is a Palestinian and Muslim which adds fuel to the flame. He wants us to move to the middle east next October when he retires. My T is talking to me about this and all I can say is if I can deal with today I will be happy October is a life time away.
P.s we been together for 11 years.
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This is sending up HUGE red flags for me. My gut reaction is DO NOT move to the middle east...DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT!!! The moment the plane lands there, you lose all your rights. You are no longer a wife, you are a possession; your husband owns you, and so does his family. He is muslim...have you met his family? Are they traditional or liberal? Be aware that no matter how liberal they seem to be, they very well may be extremely traditional at home...and he may be extremely traditional as soon as he sets foot back there. This means you don't get to speak to any man other than your husband, you don't get to leave the house without a chaperone, you can be beat by any member of his family for any and no reason at all. Any male in the family is superior to you, including your son, and any female older than you is also your superior. And something else you may not be aware of...once you set foot in the middle east...your children are no longer yours...they are his and only his. You can not make any decisions about your children without his consent...including sending your daughter to school! The school bit is changing a little...but not much. Girls are allowed to go, but they are not required to go like they are here. So if the father does not want them too...then they don't. A very good friend of mine went through this 10 years ago. She got out, but could not get her daughter out. She has not seen her daughter since she left. She got a letter from a sympathetic cousin of her ex-husband when her daughter was 14 (now would be 17)...the letter was to inform her that her daughter was now married to a 30 year old Muslim man, and was already expecting a child.
Please discuss this very carefully with your T. Listen carefully and weigh everything very carefully.