hello again...and thankyou so much for answering my posts..im new and it is nice to see an already familiar face....
i don't want to fail...but the thoughts are out of control..
every night i fall asleep mesmerising about my one last time....when i've come of methadone....
that one last amazing beautiful time...
and i know its wrong
i know it won't be so amazing the next day
after i come down and hit the ground as hard as possible...

it is so true that the higher you go..the harder you fall...

and i don't want to fall hard...

im not going to fail...but by god i want to...

its just so tempting......
the temptation..

like a child who walks into a room with chocolate sitting on a table for them....

who wouldn't take it...

but im not a child

i may have a child inside me...but i need to take control

i hate addiction.....