I can't eat for me and I just can't go to the doctors.. They'll weigh me and I can't have them see how much weight I've lost over the past.. 13 days or so.. 10lbs..

I told my boyfriend and he said "baby, don't worry, we'll get it sorted.. Get those forms done to see that ED specialist again."

I basically have no friends.. I can't cope at college anymore, my tutor's being a complete asshole to me, picking on me sooooo much and it's really getting to me, people in the group aren't talking to me and when they do, it's to have a go at me for not being able to learn the songs we're doing because I can't download them. Ugh.. It sucks.. Just makes me want to eat even less..

I'm living on soup this week, I even compared calories and fat grams in every packet of soup.. I couldn't help it.. And I'm not going to have anything but soup every day.. But then.. If Connor doesn't ask about it, i just won't have any at all.. I can't stomach it at all..

I feel so sick.. I collapsed in college yesterday from a migraine, collapsed.. Not because of not eating, but because of the migraine.. I couldn't hack it in college so I took theh day off today and 3 hours off yesterday.. i couldn't face my tutor again either.. She's making my life even more hellish atm..

Not that it can really be made any worse.. But hey.. I don't care, i obviously deserve it.. No-one even cares when I walk into college weak and tired.. They don't say anything at all, even my tutor.. She says she can see when people are withdrawn and tired etc. Yet she never says anything to me to make sure I'm okay.. Because she f*cking hates me.. Been trying to kick out the fat lump that's in her group, ever since I first got there..