well ive already posted on here about this kinda situation...
basically me performing the first bit of a sexual act with my best friends 17 year old brother.. (im 15).
well a couple of months ago... my friend and her mum had gone upstairs to bed.. and it was just me and him on the couch watching a film... and i just said i was sorry about what i did, cause i dont like him like that.
and he called me a slut, trying to make it sound playful and poked me, so i threw a cushion at him.. then we basically started to playfight till id pinned him down.
hes 6'5 and im only 5'3 so it was kinda hard to lol, and i thought this was him saying that he wanted to be friends
but then he traps my legs under his, rolls over so im squashed under him, pulles his trousers down so its just his boxers, lifts my skirt so its just my pants, grabs my hips and kept trying to feel me up. he then rolls back so im ontop, and hes pulling me onto him and moving me, but when i tried to move away, i couldnt because he was litterally... kinda hugging me but groping my *** at the same time.
sorry its so vivid... but i dont really know how else to describe what happened.
i found out the other day from a friend that couples do this ( i havent told anyone what happened). and its "dry sex"?
i kept telling him to stop, pleading and he wouldnt.
when he had "finished" he got up and left...
i just sat there shaking...
hes gone to college now... and idk what to do.
i still feel disgusting, horrible. a *****...
and every time i see him he slapps my but or tries to grope me, + my friend says hes just joking..
but i really cant cope being her friend anymore
should i just.. keep on keeping it a secret? stop talking to my friend so i dont see this guy?
i understand that its probably my fault for performing that act a while back, before it happened, i just dont know how to make him stop it all

upset
x