Dear Mary,

I understand your need for forgiveness to move on, but it is only yourself now who holds the key. You mention your husband has shown a willingness to forgive you, but it is also important for you to do the same.

I'm guessing you have a low self esteem which requires you to seek absolution from strangers. If you had negative a response on the forum would it have made a difference to you? Were you wanting to hear that we are all human and make mistakes?

Focus on the fact that you must mean a lot to your husband for him to want to make your relationship work. If you learn to love yourself then perhaps the need for other peoples approval will diminish. Perhaps the affair made you feel special? We all have our insecurities, but by loving yourself you can give yourself the opportunity to move forward.