Disssaociating again.

More derealization, less depersonalization. I can barely stand to type this, moving my body is so weird, because my body is just another prop in this unreal world. I did some researching on depersonalization but most of the people with my experiences had previous or current drug use which I don't have.

I touch my skin, but it doesn't feel like mine. I feel false. Imaginary. Everything feels false. I'm precoupied with me. I can't feel anything for anyone. There's nothing in me but a great emptiness. I'm a shell.

I dissassociated this morning too, though that was almost completely depersonalization. It felt like my mind was on a string bouncing away from my body.

This is a bit different. I feel light and airy, like I'm not really touching my bed even though I know I'm sitting on it. I have physical sensations, but they feel far away from me. I know my lips are dried and chapped and my mouth is dry, but i have no want to drink the water near my bed.

I don't have a therapist. I don't know if anyone would believe me. I don't know how to explain it to anyone. I don't like hearing things, they feel fake. I don't like talking with this mouth. I can't stand the thought of music, it's so...fake. I tried reading postss here on PC but I can't care for their pains when I'm like this even though usually I feel for everyone here with my whole heart.

Please, make it stop