Thanks so much for your comments...we don't know if she is going to therapy..my brother-in-law said she is resistent and she doesn't disclose very much to her brothers and sisters which goes along with the paranoid disoorder that my children think she has. That is an interesting theory of having them alternate the holidays..I want to change the pattern that we have been experiencing. I am tired of the repeat performance and negativism at these events as I am sure her children are as well. Thanks again for your time.