photography is what truly defines me as a creative human being. my first camera was one of the square ones that you looked through..it was a kodak....no brownie...i took photos of my dogs, the horses and my dad and the other cowboys. i don't have any memory of anyone ever looking at my pictures when i was young..but maybe they did. the camera that i have now shoots at 1/8000th of a second. that is how i am able to stop the action of say a horse that's running full out. plus it has a high command program that i can turn on when i go into the arena. frequently i've been in the arena for ten minutes or so before i realize that i haven't made any adjustments to the camera to allow for the conditions. i get extremely "high" when i'm shooting anything. intense describes it best.i i zone everything out except myself and the subject. during my last marriage, i had two of those critters, my husband bought me a simple Nikon. i took a workshop in NM with Bernard Plousu who is a famous French photographer. he started the fire. as my knowledge grew, i outgrew cameras and bought different ones. when i bought the one that i have now, i sold alot of my antiques so i could get it. by the time i got to that point, i had quit being a cheerleader for my husband and since he'd never been very interested in my work, i preferred doing it that way. i never heard him tell anyone i was a photographer nor did i ever see him look at any new prints or ask me what i was working on. we were allowed to talk about two subjects. surgery and fly fishing. nothing i did was ever brought up. we were on a trip one time and he was very moody and i asked him what was wrong....he said, "well, it really ticks me off that my career is stagnant and yours is taking off like it is".."you've been getting phone calls from all around the United States and I hate that!"....this is a man who has 3 specialities...took me to my knees on that one. i realized then that i was screwed as far as his opinion about my creative self went. so, this photography was my one grip on something outside of that marriage. i had started working on the rodeo book just before the marriage became a train wreck happening. the Indian cowboys and their wives were my main support through that period. four of them drove all night and all day to come see me in Oklahoma because their wives made them!! they were worried about me. imagine the husband's shock when he opened the door and four absolutely beautiful Navajo men were standing there!!! i started moving out the next day. their calm and strength helped me see that i could get out of there. i have continued to take photographs through the good and the bad. i have used both my daughters as models during different times in our lives. one of my favourite things to do is to shoot bridal shots in very different ways. i really love that. i wrote a program called "phototherapy" for Psychiatry Institute of America in the 80s. I did group using that technique for three years at a PIA hospital. That is my most favourite work that i've ever done. It was very rewarding to see an alcoholic a year after their hospitalization and have them tell me that they were still sober. i don't have a degree in psychology. three years..i flew by the seat of my pants under the supervision of the medical director.when i lived in New Mexico, i also did something that i loved..i put together a slide show on the Indian rodeo and taught positive thinking to the employees of U.S. West, a telephone company in Denver.. so, you can see that my image of myself is very tied up in my photography. i've been putting a few things up in my photo gallery and i deeply appreciate hearing your comments. and you don't have to "cheer" me on..if you don't like a print or have questions...let me know.. p.s. the portrait of Jack and Tip is an old workprint and is really in sorry condition...sorry...it's not a strong B/W...
[b]i would really like to hear what the biggest and most important work is in your life that is tied to your self esteem.