try to remember the love you felt then... that love is still present, before the 'poisoning' of it in your mind.... that love lives and can be shared with those who can give you that love in return.. those people exist on this planet.. it seems very hard to find... dont give up... what you desire is obtainable... a true love exists within oneself first and is then shared with others.. true love leaves no damage.. the memory of this love that you shared is still alive in you... it is looking for a home.. it will not stop speaking to you until you have fed this need... all needs are satisfiable... work at your understanding of matters... if its true love you want, its true love you must create... love to you always...