Kiya, it sounds like you think that getting a pap is related to being sexually active? This is totally not true. A pap smear is to check for cervical cancer, not to check for a venereal disease. Please get your pap smear every year, whether you are sexually active or not. If your doctor doesn't know this, you should switch doctors because he/she is incompetent.

For the last few years of my marriage, my H and I were not sexually active (with each other). When my doctor would ask what kind of birth control are you using, I would say "nothing". That was the truth. You don't need birth control when you aren't having sex. Let the doctor puzzle out the truth. If the doc is going to ask sensitive questions, they have to be prepared for "out of the norm" responses. How much we tell our doctors (or friends or family) is always up to us.