i find there is usually a reason to why i'm feeling the way i do. and i build up a list of things in my head, each one getting more dramatic and unrealistic than the next, of why i can't bare to live anymore. if you can expose what these thoughts are on paper, you make it easier to help yourself think through these things and for others to help you, because you can give them something to solve, rather than just 'i'm suicidal'.

Something that helps me unravel what these thoughts are is write as though you are both yourself and a psychologist, or someone trying to help you. Get two different coloured pens. Write something you've been feeling in one colour and answer or give advice in the other colour. The responses can be as small as you like or just something like "tell me more" or "i don't know the answer, but i know..." Try to answer honestly, rather than copy what others say to you, just like you are having a conversation with yourself. Might sound a bit unusual, but i find it the best way to get to what i really think and feel, and at the same time create some positive ways of thinking about it, some solutions.